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Thursday, 05 November 2009

Currently
Who Can Kill a Child?
By Lewis Fiander, Prunella Ransome, Antonio Iranzo, Miguel Narros, María Luisa Arias
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Creative blockage

I don"t understand what the deal is with me lately. I've hit a wall in my mind where my imagination stops. I haven't done anything on the creative side in a while. No writing, no drawing, no videos, no photos, no music....nothing, zip, nada....and it sucks. I'd like to be able to say that I have a ton of ideas rolling around in my head that I just can't grab on of them, but that's not the case either. Ideas are pretty scarce for me now too. On the off chance that I do remember one of them for longer than an hour, I realize that I don't have the means to make it happen. I really think it's this house. When I lived at Sam and David's I was overflowing with ideas and it was hard for me to do anything else because of how much stuff I had flowing through me. I had to get it all out, I had to get it on some kind of medium, Since I've been here I haven't really done too much, I had a little bit of a run with photography. I was doing quite well actually. I was just learning how to open up to my artistic eye. Now it's just like everything else...blank. I don't know...but I definately need to get out of this funk right now.

btw...you can check out what pictures I did take here. www.myspace.com/sinful7productions

Wednesday, 30 September 2009

Currently
Elements of Life World Tour
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Fall

It's here. It's finally here. The season that I am forced to wait patiently all year for is finally here...Autumn.

I have an uncontrollable smile on my face right now, and it's been there since I woke up. I love autumn so much it's really hard to explain. I know it's here, I can feel it outside, I can smell it in the air. I'm so excited.

Why am I so excited?

well....idk really. I just really like fall. I have a lot of good memories associated with this specific time of year, so when it comes around I get happy because I know that I'm going to get a lot more good memories out of this year. I already know I've got a couple coming my way so soon into it. Halloween Horror Nights on the 29th, and the most amazing thing I'm ever going to be lucky enough to see...DJ Tiesto on the 16th! It's going to be amazing.

Plus, I really hate the heat, lol. I hate Florida's heat, cause it's not just hot, it's heavy. In Wisconsin it gets hot during the summer don't get me wrong, but it's just heat, dry heat. In Florida it's hot and humid. Like really humid...like to the point where your clothes just stick to you because of how heavy and moist the air is....it sucks dick. Plus I'm from up north, so I was used to the cold. Our winters start earlier than all these southern states so it's longer. I hate sweating, I don't like the feeling of my clothes sticking to me like that, it feels constricting. I've always said, "I'd rather be freezing than sweating."

But yeah....fall!!! WOOOO!!

It actually hurts me to be inside right now knowing that it's so absolutly, amazingly, fucking perfect outside. This is just one more reason why I need a laptop, the work aspect comes first yes, but for pleasure second. If I can do my work outside...oh man, that would be awesome. Now is the time for me to set up as many shoots as I possibly can. At this time of year I usually spend most of my time outdoors. I find stupid excuses to get in my car and drive somewhee just to be outside. Coincidentally enough, this is also the time of year when my CD burning reaches it's peak. By the time summer rolls around again I'll have like 200 new CD's. Most of which will have at least 3 to 6 songs in common with one another. So basically the same CD, just different filler. It's retarded I know.

I've noticed too that this time of year is usually when people that I haven't seen in a while come out of the woodwork and make themselves known. I meet a lot of new people from October to like February. So this is a good marketing and expanding time for me and my photography. Hmm...that makes me think, I'm gonna need to order some more business cards. Maybe get some actual prints made.

As far as marketing and expanding goes right now. I'm trying my hardest to use as many resources as I can and get my name out there. Aside from the business cards, I'm focusing mainly on the internet resources. My photography is all over the damn internet right now. I'm on Flickr, Myspace, Deviantart, Facebook, Xanga, Photobucket, and I'm still looking for more sites. Here are the links to my main sites.

www.sinful7productions.deviantart.com

www.myspace.com/sinful7productions

If you get some time just check it out. ^_^. Thanks.

I do believe it is time for me to go. I can't sit inside any more.

Saturday, 14 March 2009

Currently
Are You Dead Yet?
By Children of Bodom
Living Dead Beat
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Great morning...in hell

So I had a great day so far.

I wake up this morning to a text from my sister (who recently gave me her car because mine was broken down and she had bought a new one) saying that she wants her money and if I don't get her 300 bucks by friday then she's taking the car back. Which would be awesome, because then I'd have to move out, and I'd be jobless.

Then, in my pissed off mindset, grab my wallet to go get a pack of smokes (which I haven't done in a while) and somewhere between the house and the counter at the gas station I lost my wallet. Both debit cards, my paycheck card, my ID, and about $200 in cash....all gone...out the window....so now I have no money, and no way to access my bank account.

I blame my sister for all of this shit.

After I tried to call my sister to yell at her for how much of a cunt she was being (which of course she didn't answer) I called my mother to inform her....she already talked to my sister, and was defending her...saying that my anger problem is the reason I lost my wallet. That may be true, but I would not have been pissed if my sister had not pissed me off......ergo....it's her fault.

Realizing that I was now royally fucked financially I drop into mass depression mode. I tell Nikki the truth....that I want to die. She freaks out, and instead of talking to me...she calls her ex. Which is the icing on my cake today.

I've had 2 full bowls to myself, and I can't get high....I'm still too pissed....even the bump of yay wasn't enough to make me forget....

Yesterday was the one month....one month without fighting, arguing, and name calling.....and then she runs to him today.

Death...I think....will be my bestest friend whenever I get the chance to meet him.
Currently
Freedom
By Akon
Beautiful
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H@ck3r5

So...I have no clue why I did, but I felt it necessary to explore something about a certain person in my recent past and honestly I feel ashamed for what I did. I can't explain in detail for the fact that I know somebody that knows the people mentioned here has found my blog once to relay information to other parties already...so why take a chance.

In a nutshell...I went somewhere I know I'm not supposed to go...nothing illegal I promise. But none the less I got access to somewhere, and I didn't poke and prod too much, but I did get a very little bit of vague information...so in essence I really got nothing...but a sick feeling in my stomach.

I don't know why I put myself through these things.
-------------On a side note.
Today was my and Nikki's one month. Not a big deal to some, but quite a big deal to me..I've had a lot of relationships in my life..well..not really relationships but more like very fucked up tests for pride. When I was in middle school I had a relationship that lasted exactly 45 minutes. Dating 3rd period, single 4th period...ain't that a bitch? And with Rachel, and Katy as my only real relationships to fall back on ( Rachel at 4 Months, and Katy at 11 months and 25 days) I don't really have much to compare to. And with KT and me we always fought. Like I mean...we fought a lot. There was a 3 - 4monthe period where life was perfect was we were just happy to be together...we didn't fight at all in that time frame...it was amazing. But....everything has to end sometime right.

But back to my point, Nikki. One month.....not only one month, but one month with no arguments, no fights, and no real tension. However, my personal problems and scars that Kt left behind are recurring things now, And I fear so much everyday that it's going to get out of control and I'm gonna go back to being the jealous overprotective boyfriend that got me canned in the first place and then Nikki's going to look at me and just say...no way...no fucking way I can be with someone like that.

I love her, I do. I do well to keep it under wraps, I made the mistake of telling er way way way prematurely a while back. So now I just don't say anything, and I will wait for her to tell me. I am trying to get her to do something very dear to my heart on the day she decides to tell me she feels the same...kinda like a promise thing, like....do thins with me and ill know your for real and not jerking around my heart

Sex is amazing thou, I mean like.....Oh My God, that girls got tricks now, lol. The only thing that bugs me now is that after sex, I find my automatic reflex is to look at her and say I Love You....but I know I can't..With time I'm sure I will be able to...and the best part...is that with time...she's gonna look back at me and say..I Love You too baby.

I anxiously await the day.

Tuesday, 17 February 2009

Currently
We Sing, We Dance, We Steal Things
By Jason Mraz
Lucky
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Too Soon

Last night, after a longstanding battle between my two mental halves...I decided to tell Nikki that I think I love her.

I didn't get it back.

It's ok....I kinda knew she wouldn't say it back...but it didn't stop me from hoping.

I mean, I didn't scare her away or anything, she's still talking to me, she's not looking at me any different. She say's shes not going to fault me for how I feel....which is awesome don't get me wrong, but I'm honestly a little hurt that she doesn't feel the same way. I mean, I know she said she thinks she's starting to fall, I guess it just wasn't as fast as I did.

I feel ashamed almost that I feel this way so soon....and I don't know why.

You ever look at a choice you just made and think that you have just made a really big, irreversible mistake? That's kinda how I feel at the moment.

On the one hand, I don't feel bad saying it....because I meant it. On the other hand, now it's going to be weird.

Looks like I haven't done too good of a job working on the fact that I wear my heart on my sleeve.

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TheSe7enDeadlySins

- Name: TheSe7enDeadlySins
- Birthday: 5/10/1988
- Gender: Male
- Member Since: 12/4/2008

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I blog, I write. Love music, movies, and anything that can divert my attention from the world. Lights, L.E.D.'s, drugs, sex, and rock and roll. Flirtatious, calm, a wreck....I can be many things.